January 2018

Family, reflection and planning have been the most common themes throughout January. A heartbreaking event brought my family closer together, I re-evaluated what was important to me and I have non-stop been thinking about my future. But let's do this chronologically.

Resolutions

My first unofficial New Year's resolution was to save as much money as I could, although I am still unsure what for. Do I save for a house? Do I save to travel? Do I save for a PhD course?

My second unofficial resolution was to travel as much as I could - small breaks to places I've never been before, which contradicts the first resolution somewhat.

The year began with opposing feelings really. I was excited at the prospect that this would be my 'holiday year' and I booked three breaks: Poland, New York City and Skiathos. However, I was also concerned and down about the wellbeing of several family members.

Barbara Howard (Karadimou)

On January 10th, my Nanna sadly passed away. 

That woman was the centre of my dad's side of the family, the glue, and everyone's hero. She was a very traditional Greek lady and lived a tough life - both of her parents died at a young age, she had shrapnel scars from invasions in the second world war, moved to England where her sister lived and also died tragically, ran various public houses and shops, was a big part of the Greek Church and had 3 children to raise.

She was a feeder, forceful kisser and the most photographed woman I know. She ate until she was physically sick, had photos of herself up all over the walls in her house, made up English words, got her languages confused and offered me wafer-thin ham when I told her I was a vegetarian.

I am extremely thankful that I was lucky enough to be her granddaughter, that I got to visit her hometown in Greece with her and that I get told that I look like her all the time.

Over the past 4 years, due to vascular dementia, someone that had spent her life looking after everyone else had to rely on us. 

Her Greek Orthodox funeral took place on January 19th and was completely how she would have wanted it. As hard as it was to say goodbye, I think everyone is content knowing she is now at well-deserved peace.

Poland

The day following my Nanna's funeral (January 20th), I flew to Poland with a friend.

We ate some great food, walked around Kraków town, went on a guided tour around Auschwitz and Auschwitz-Birkenau, then had a spa day.

I literally cannot put my thoughts about Auschwitz into words. What went on there is absolute madness and something your brain literally cannot comprehend. The museum was shocking, from the hill-like piles of human hair, shoes, prosthetics, luggage cases, hairbrushes and glasses to the thought that the whole MASSIVE place is an actual graveyard for 1,000,000+ people who were tricked into thinking that they were moving away. I didn't take photos inside the museum or in the buildings because it just didn't feel right to, but I took quite a few of the buildings from the outside.

Kraków:

Auschwitz:

Auschwitz-Birkenau:

My 23rd Birthday

It was my 23rd birthday on January 26th. I went out for a meal with my family, which was nice after the emotional month that we had all had, then went out for drinks with friends the night after. 

Just the usual celebrations, nothing special.

I got asked how '23' feels and the only answer I could think of was 'insignificant'. I'm sure one day I'll wish I could be 23 again but right now it feels a bit like no man's land, like I'm not a real adult yet. Regardless, I'm enjoying having 0 responsibilities whatsoever.

Hope everyone had a good start to the year!

Life After University

After yet another prolonged period of posting nothing, guess who's back again...

You probably weren't wondering where I've been or what I've been doing but I'll tell you anyway.

1. I started studying for my MSc in Forensic Psychology at University of Kent in September 2016.

2. Whilst studying for my masters, I worked part-time in a pub when I went home to Nottingham in the holidays up until January 2017.

3. From December 2016, I worked part-time as a support worker 3 days a week in Kent alongside my masters.

4. I moved home in May 2017, when lectures had finished, to concentrate on writing my dissertation. 

5. After moving home, I started working part-time as a support worker in August.

6. In September, I handed in my final pieces of coursework.

7. I received my final marks/results in October.

8. I have recently secured a position as a support worker in a hospital providing care in a low secure/locked rehab setting. 

9. I have signed an honorary contract to work with a community forensic team with the NHS.

10. I still have no savings and I am not qualified to practice.

Everybody's reasons for going to university are different. Personally, I went to university because I liked being in education and wanted to increase my job prospects. I had always worked hard in school and I found studying/getting good marks relatively easy. We were also told at sixth form that if we went to university we would start further up the career ladder than those who did not have a degree and would therefore earn more money. So, going to university seemed like the right thing for me to do.

After completing my undergraduate degree in BSc Psychology, I decided that studying a masters would be a good move as this extra qualification would set me apart from others. I was told that after studying a masters, I could either train 'on the job' for 2 years or go on to do a doctorate in order to be a fully qualified psychologist. What people didn't tell you is how hard it is to find an assistant psychologist position in order to train 'on the job' and that it would probably take far longer than 2 years. Nobody tells you that you need a lot of experience to get onto a doctorate either.

A psychology degree down and a masters later, I'm still not fully qualified and I'm working in a job that doesn't require any qualifications in order to gain experience. I wish people would have been honest at the start and told prospective students how hard it is to secure a decent graduate position and informed us just how competitive the psychological field is, especially in the Midlands. Even with this information, I would have still gone to university but at least I would have been prepared for the hard work after graduating.

At present, I am living back at home with my mum, have no money to my name and have two jobs I could have secured without going to university. As my masters course wasn't funded, I had to take out a £10k loan - which only covered my course fees and part of my rent. I had to work to pay the rest of my rent, bills and living costs (like food and toiletries). So even though I have always been in paid work since I was 15/16, I have worked just to stay out of my overdraft. I'm proud of myself for not over-spending and budgeting my money to be able to be in this position. However, I know many people who did not go to university that are on more money than I would be on even after doing a doctorate because they have experience. Experience is valued far more than a qualification and I wish I had considered that and done more before and during university.

Every university experience is different. Some might graduate and get their dream job straight away, they might be able to move into their own place and start 'adulting'. Others, like myself, might find themselves in a sort of adult 'limbo'. Graduating is weird. You come out of university and move back home to find that nothing's really changed. Although I have lived on my own for 4 years at university, I am back living where I was before it all started, I'm struggling to save money and I'm far from my dream job. I don't even know what my dream job is. I spend a LOT of time thinking about my future, how to find a good job that I will enjoy and how I'll ever be able to save enough money for a deposit on a house. I have no problem living at home, I have it really good here and I'm incredibly lucky to have such a supportive family. But sometimes I look at people my age around me that have well-paid full-time jobs, some of them are buying houses and starting families. They seem to have it all figured out. Additionally, I only had 9 contact hours a week in my final year - this doesn't exactly prepare you for a full-time job.

My general point is that if you have recently graduated and still have no idea what you're doing with your life - you are not alone. Post-graduate blues are most definitely a thing. I am not used to the working world, I miss my uni friends, I have regressed back to a less independent person by moving back home, I am constantly thinking about my career, how to save for a deposit on a house and my future in general. The adjustment is hard and I think it needs to be spoken about more to prepare students for what might be to come. 

That's my rant over anyway and explanation for what I've been doing with my life for the past year.

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